


Like A Book

by StormyBear30



Category: Actor RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-14
Updated: 2011-06-14
Packaged: 2017-10-20 10:27:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/211799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormyBear30/pseuds/StormyBear30
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Colin receives an invitation and he had no idea what to do with it…or does he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like A Book

“Surely you’re not thinking of really going?” Collin heard his brother Eamon question him as he stood in the middle of his study, a wide grin upon his face at what he held within his hand.

“Aye…that I am” His simple reply, as he ignored his brother’s annoyed look and sat down at his desk.

“Why? What in gods name is going there going to prove?”

“I was invited” Another simple reply. “Besides, it would be rude of me not to show up after he went to all the trouble of inviting me”

“It has to be a mistake. Maybe it was mailed to you by mistake, or any other reason then the one that I know you are clinging to as of right now” Eamon belted out, sitting upon the desk as he snatched the invitation out of Colin’s hand.

“And what reason would that be?” He asked in irritation before snatching the piece of paper back.

“That this is some sign from Jared, letting you know that things are not over between the two of you just yet”

Colin hated it when his brother could read his mind in the ways that he could, but rather then give into the egging he knew he was going to receive, he ignored the remark instead. “It says that I can bring a guest. So…you want to be my date or not?”

“Oh my…a date with the infamous Colin Farrell” Eamon mocked, covering his mouth with his hands in mock surprise. “Be still my heart. How ever will I find a dress in time” His teasing continued as he flipped his brother the bird before taking his leave.

“Fuck off you wanker” Colin cried out after his retreating brother, his laughter echoing around him in his wake. “I don’t care what he says” Colin spoke to the wedding invitation. “I know that this is a sign and if it isn’t from him then its from someone else” He knew that his time was limited, knew that he had to do something, anything to stop the man that he still loved from making the biggest mistake of his life. A smile crossed his face instantly he came up with a plan, knowing and feeling that in the end he was going to be victorious.

 

“I still can’t believe that we are here, that you are doing this” Eamon growled under his breath as the two made their way towards their hotel rooms. “Colin…seriously” He forced his brother to stop as he gazed into his eyes. “What if this plan of yours, whatever it may be doesn’t work? You could end up not only hurting yourself, but Jared as well” It was hard to keep the accusations out of his voice, but a small part knew that whatever it was that his brother had planned was going to end up back firing and blowing up in their face. On the other hand, the romantic in him wanted Colin to win back the love of the only man who seemed to be able to tame the wild beast raging deep within his soul.

“I know…but it’s a risk that I have to take. I have to know that it’s over for good, because even after we said our goodbyes…it just never felt finished. I know that probably sounds ridicules…but it‘s how I feel” Colin blushed as he opened the door to his hotel suite, ushering the two of them inside.

“It doesn’t sound ridicules Colin, but I have to ask…what are you going to do with him if you win him back? You had him before and just let him walk away without even so much as a hint of a fight. If you do this…if you break up this wedding between him and this women what happens next?”

“I don’t know” Colin answered truthfully as he sat down up on the bed behind him, leaning forward as he laid his head within his hands. “I honestly don’t know”

“I think that you need to think things through again before you do anything. Jared is an amazing man with a generous capacity to love. Think about him and how much you will hurt him if you break up this wedding and then leave him hanging once again” Taking his leave, Eamon gave his brother the space that he needed to think about what ever scheme he had cooked up for the previous evening.

Sleep eluded Colin most of the night as he tossed and turned trying to figure out what he truly wanted to do with Jared if his plan succeeded. He knew that he loved Jared, knew that he missed having him in his life, but what he didn’t know was just how much of that freedom in his life he was willing to give up for the man.

 

He still wasn’t sure the next evening and as and Eamon stepped off the elevator and slowly made their way towards Jared’s bachelor party which was in full swing. “So I take it that you are going through with whatever plan you have concocted in that idiotic head of yours”

“I have to do something Eamon” Colin turned to look at his brother. “I have to know once and for all that things are over between the two of us. I love him…you know that”

“Colin…you’re my brother and I love you dearly, but I think that you are off your nut on this one. He’s getting married. I would think that the invitation alone would have been proof enough to prove to you that he’s over you” Eamon hated saying the words, hated seeing the look of hurt that flashed through his brother’s eyes, but he knew that the words had to be spoken just the same. “Maybe we should just leave him be and let him be happy. Come on…I spotted a nice pub not to far from here. We can go and down a couple of pints or two and get completely hammered”

Colin thought about what he brother had said, but then he remembered all the good times that he had spent with Jared and a new flash of stubbornness set it. “You go to the bloody pub. I’ve got work to do” He didn’t wait for a reply as he jutted out his chin and entered the crowded room.

“Oh bleeding Christ” Eamon spoke to himself as he followed his brother into what he was sure going to end up being the depths of hell before the night was over.

 

Jared noticed him the moment that he entered the room, his heart hammering so hard within his chest that he felt as if it would explode from deep within it. His emotions up and down at the excitement of seeing his once thought of great love again, but fearful and dreaded because he knew what loving and being with Colin entailed. He played it cool; ignoring the searching looks he was receiving from the man across the room, instead pretending to focus his attention towards the naked pole dancer before him.

Determination washed over Colin, realizing quite quickly that Jared was ignoring and avoiding him. He knew how to play the game. Hell, he had invented the game and so he ordered a drink and bid his time until he could get the man alone. He ignored Eamon, who continued to bitch and complain at his side as the wheels in his head set in motion.

“Well, we’ve been here for a fucking hour and the two of you have yet to even speak to each other” Eamon cried out loudly over the roar of the music blasting around them. “Jesus…either go and talk to him or lets get the fuck out of here”

“I’m biding my time” Colin replied with a smug grin, looking over Eamon’s shoulder as he tried to once again gain eye contact with Jared. “Fuck…” He growled under his breath when his twentieth time failed yet again. His determination began to flicker at the realization that maybe Jared truly didn’t love or care for him any longer.

“More like wasting your time and mine” Eamon barked, downing his drink before slamming the glass upon the bar. “Fuck this…” He called out over his shoulder, ignoring the threats being shouted his way as he stomped over towards Jared. “Jared…” He called out, placing his hand upon the mans shoulder as he turned him around. “Hey man…I just wanted to say hello and wish you the best of luck tomorrow…since we’ve been here for over an hour already and you haven’t come to greet us” He smiled down at the shorter man, noticing the look of hurt that stared back at him for only a moment before it was gone. “Hey…sorry” He spoke against Jared’s ear. “I know how hard this is for you and I know that we shouldn’t be here. “We’ll just go…good luck with your life Jared. I really wish you the best” He found his words to be true as he leaned in and kissed Jared upon his cheek, smiling once again before taking his leave.

“How is he?” Jared called out, grabbing onto Eamon’s arm to hinder his leaving. “After learning about the wedding?”

“He was a bit stunned to receive your invitation to the wedding” Eamon responded truthfully, looking over his shoulder at the brother who he knew was trying to evaporate him with his smoldering angry eyes. “Fucking floored more like it” He laughed, turning his gaze back to Jared. “He took it as a sign. He said that he felt things were never really settled after you both ended everything. I keep telling him that he’s crazy, but he refuses to believe me” reading Jared’s face was next to impossible he found as every possible emotion flashed across it before they disappeared completely and in its place a calm façade. “It wasn’t a sign…was it?” He asked in hesitation, fearful for the answer and yet dying to hear it just the same.

“It was a mistake” Jared responded with no real emotion behind those words. “Thank you for coming Eamon. Will you give my regards to Colin as well?” He asked, taking one final look at Colin before taking his leave.

“Sure…” Eamon said to the empty space before him, taking a deep breath before he went back to the bar and broke his brother’s heart once and for all.

Colin was still in shock after what Eamon had told him. He had thought, more like hoped that receiving the invitation had been as sign, but it seemed to him that his brother had been right, that he was nothing but an idiotic fool. Laying down upon the bed, he crossed his arm over his forehead as he recalled the finer points that were is life with Jared such a short time before hand. He had nearly drifted off to sleep when he heard voices outside his door, which only seemed to get louder and more irritated with each minute that passed.

 

Jared still couldn’t believe that he had been found loitering around Colin’s door and yet there he was just the same getting hassled by one of the hotels security guards. All he wanted to do was be left alone as he sat on the floor leaning against the door that hide Colin behind it. He had flirted with the desk manager horribly after Colin and Eamon had left his party to find out what room he had been staying in and yet once he got there he found that he was to shit scared to do anything but lean against the door for support.

“Sir…I won’t tell you again. If your not a guest of the hotel you will have to leave and if you don’t I will escort you out” The security person warned the man he was sure was drunk and lost, his hands itching to get a hold of the pretty boy before tossing him into the street on his ass.

“I already told you that I am a guest in this hotel” Jared spoke up in a near whisper, afraid that Colin would hear what was going on outside and demand to know why. “There’s a huge bachelor party going on downstairs right now…that’s my party. I’m getting married in the morning”

“Show me your key card sir” The guard insisted, knowing that the man was lying by the look of stupidity upon his young face.

“I don’t have it. My brother has it and he‘s entertaining if you get my drift” Jared defended himself, pushing the mans sweaty hands away from him as he tried to grab onto his person. “Besides…I know the man that is staying in his room”

“That’s is sir I’ve warned you enough” He grinned evilly as he went to grab fully onto the man, his hands grabbing air as the door was open and his victim fell backwards.

“Hi Colin…” Jared smile sheepishly up at the frowning man, his brows furrowed in confusion and annoyance as he stared down at him as he lay on the floor.

“What the fuck?” Colin questioned with confusion on his face as he looked from Jared to what appeared to be some sort of security personnel.

“Nothing to be alarmed about sir” The man spoke snidely to Colin as he leaned over and grabbed onto the long haired man for real that time. “Just taking this piece of street trash out to the street” He grinned as he jerked him upwards, and attempted to drag him down the hallway with him.

“I happen to know that piece of street trash” Colin ground out, pushing the man away from a grinning Jared as he pulled him into his arms. “You ok?”

“I am now” Jared curled around Colin’s body, laying his head upon his strong shoulder as he gave the guard an evil glare. “I told you that I knew him”

“You said that there was a bachelor party going on in your honor” The man rushed out, teeth gritted as he clenched his fists together.

“Did you invite this nice man to our bachelor party?” Colin smiled down at Jared, giving him a playful wink as well. “Well…you’re going to have to enjoy the party by yourself because now that I have my soon to be husband all to myself I am going to be keeping him very…very busy until the morning. Ta…” They both laughed at the shocked and disgusted look upon his face before they entered Colin’s room, slamming the door loudly behind them. Jared was on cloud nine as he continued to cling to Colin. Closing his eyes he allowed the heated warmness from his body to meld into his own, making him feel warm and cozy. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt such peace and then in a flash it was gone. “Ok…now that we’ve gotten rid of the guard…you want to tell me what the fuck you were doing hanging outside my door?”

 

Jared was at a lose for words for only a moment as he tried to come up with any excuse to explain his actions. He opted for the truth because he knew by the way that Colin was studying his face, that any lie or part of a lie would be detected in a moment. “I want to spend one last night with you before I get married” He spoke bluntly and truthfully, taking a deep breath before he continued. “I made her a promise that after we got married that I wouldn’t sleep with anymore men…women either” He corrected as the scrutiny to his face intensified. “I just wanted to spend one more night getting fucked by a man before I had to give it up for good”

“So you sent me an invitation in order to trick me?” Colin asked, his heart breaking, yet angry all rolled into one at the silent man before him. “You knew that I would come and planned to seduce me then?” Turning away, he faced the wall for a moment as he tried to control his anger the best that he could before turning back. “There was really no need to trick me Jared. You know what a man slut I am. All you had to do was ask and I would have given you the final fuck of your life” He couldn’t believe how much it hurt to say those words, but apparently not as hurtful as for Jared to hear them.

“I can’t believe that you think that” Jared spoke up, his voice quacking, tears springing to his eyes.

“Well let’s get to it then” Colin ignored the hurt screaming out from watery blue eyes as he yanked his shirt from off of his body, making his way towards the bed. “Let’s make this quick though since I might want to go out later and find someone else to fuck from off of the street”

“Colin please…” Jared whispered painfully behind the man. Trying to control his tears, but finding it near impossible in the fucked up mess he had created. “I didn’t mean to trick you. I know that sending you the invitation seems spiteful and mean, but it’s not what I had intended…really”

Colin could hear the hurt and pleading in his former lovers voice as he turned to face the man head on. “Then what did you intend?” He asked, waiting for a truthful answer as he stared the shorter man down.

“I didn’t have the nerve to call and ask you straight out. I mean…” He hesitated, knowing that his words were all jumbled and were only making matters worse. “After everything that happened between us, I was afraid to even think about talking to you about what’s been going on. This wedding has just taken over my life and she knows all about my being with other men and she doesn’t judge me for what I’ve done in my past. However…she doesn’t agree with it and I had to make promises to her that I would never sleep with a man again once we were married. She gave me permission to sleep with one last man before the wedding and I wanted that man to be you Colin. I knew that if I sent you the invitation that you would come, but when I saw you at the party, I froze. You were there and in the flesh, but I couldn‘t bring myself to walk up to you, much less ask you to be my final manly fuck” He blurted out the words, taking a deep breath once he was done as he gauged Colin’s reaction. “I sent you that invitation because I knew that once I got you alone and told you my story that you would help me, not because you’re a man slut, but because you would know how much this meant to me” He didn’t wait for Colin to respond as he stepped forward, laying his hand hesitantly upon the silent mans neck before wrapping his free arm around his waist. “Please do this for me Colin” He whispered against partially open lips. “I need you to do this for me”

Colin struggled with the words he had heard, struggled even more with the emotional rollercoaster that his heart was taking. On the one hand he was ecstatic to feel Jared against his body once again, but he knew that being with Jared was dangerous; it always had been from their first encounter together. “Jared…I…” He tried to speak, but found the simple form of speech near impossible.

“Colin…please…I need you” He heard that same begging whisper of need from before as Jared ghosted a kiss across his lips, before kissing him fully. Colin didn’t hesitate that time as he slid his arms around Jared’s waist, pulling him flush against his body, intensifying the kiss. With the ease of strength he lifted him upwards, turning the two of them around as he walked towards the bed. Clothing disappeared in a flash as they lay naked flesh to naked flesh, hands and mouths exploring and revisiting old and familiar terrain from years past. Their lovemaking was electric as they each gave into their carnal desires, giving and taking in order to bring the utmost pleasure to the other. Skin was tortured and teased until cries of passion wafted loudly for anyone near to hear. Hardened cocks were tasted and exploring as what felt like gallons of cum filled areas and covered skin. Afterwards each enjoyed the afterglow, if only for a moment as the harsh reality of real life shown its ugly face again. “I guess that I should go” Jared spoke in barely a whisper, not really wanting to leave, but knowing that he probably should.

“No…not yet” Colin replied hoarsely, wrapping his arms around Jared’s body as he slide him flush against his sweaty skin. “Please…just a bit longer”

“Ok…” Jared replied with a smile as he lay on his side, staring into glimmering chocolates eyes that he had nearly drowned in many times before that night. “I had forgotten how amazing making love with you could be” He smiled as he traced Colin’s face tenderly with the tips of his fingers, enjoying the feel of the rugged skin under them.

“I never forgot” Colin sighed wistfully, laying his hand upon Jared’s, halting his action before placing a tender kiss upon the palm. “I remember everything about our time together. I miss us…miss what we used to be. What happened to us Jared? Where did we go wrong?”

“Well I could say that we grew apart or that our careers got in the way” He droned on the answer that he knew Colin would accept, speaking the last one under his breath. “Or I could speak the truth…you got scared and fucked it all up” The words sounded accusing and Jared knew it, but he didn’t care. He had been keeping the anger and the resentment locked up within himself for far too long.

“What?” Colin exclaimed, pushing Jared away in order to sit up. “You’re blaming this on me” His voice got louder, his hands trembling out of need for a cigarette. “I thought our break up was mutual. We both agreed that it was for the best because of our careers“Colin reminded him, clearly remembering the day when they had made the final decision to end everything between them once and for all.

“No…us breaking up had nothing to do with me and everything to do with you” Jared bit out, pushing himself into a sitting position as he glared at the outraged man beside him. “You were the one that started complaining that us being together was getting to hard. You were the one that brought up maybe taking a break for a while, but then that talk turned into splitting up for good. I didn’t want anything to do with us breaking up, but I knew that I couldn’t force you to see that we could have made it if only we really tried. So, instead I just gave you what you wanted” He sniffled as he recalled the heartache of the entire situation of pain all over again.

“You never said anything. How was I supposed to know that it wasn’t what you wanted? You agreed so quickly that I just assumed that you were thinking the same thing” Colin cried out astonished and still angered at Jared’s words. “Was I supposed to have been able to read your mind because I’m not a fucking mind reader you know”

“Hell yes you should have known” Jared returned angrily. “When you love someone and invest time in them you should already know what is going on in their mind before they even speak a word”

“And you could do that with me? You knew what I was thinking before I even said a word?” Colin questioned angrily.

“You’re like an open book Colin” Jared replied sadly as he pulled his knees into his chest, wrapping his arms around them. “You were always nervous about us from the get go, but I thought that it would get better as our relationship moved along, but it never did. In fact you became more nervous, coming up with excuse after excuse as to why we shouldn’t be together. I fought for us for as long as I could, but eventually it became crystal clear that you were scared and unwilling to fight for us as well. I finally just gave you what you wanted…an excuse to end everything that we had” He let his words linger for a few moments as Colin found fascination with the tacky bedspread upon the bed. “I need to go. I have to try and get some sleep before the wedding tomorrow” He spoke up when the man beside him still spoke not a word in reply.

“You’re right” Colin finally spoke up as he watched Jared dressing before him. “It got too hard and I was fucking scared, but I never stopped loving you Jared. You have to believe that I never stopped loving you” Colin rushed out fearfully as he slide across to the foot of the bed, grabbing one of Jared’s free hands within his own. “I mean it baby…I still mean it. Tell me that you love me Jared” He was frantic with fear as he continued to hold Jared’s hand, staring into a face that held no real emotion at that moment in time. “Tell me that you love me and that we can start again”

“I still love you Colin. Fuck…I wish that I didn‘t” He sighed painfully, sitting on the bed beside the Irishman, still allowing his hand to be held. “But none of that matters now because I am marrying her” He couldn’t believe how hard it was to actually say those words, and yet he knew that they had to be said just the same because he wasn’t willing to put his heart upon the line for Colin Farrell again, or so that’s what he told himself.

“You don’t love her Jared. I don’t believe that you ever did” Colin spoke words that he knew to be true at the way Jared’s body reacted to them, stiff and unyielding to his gentle touch. “You love being with men” He tried another tactic, knowing that he was pushing Jared too far, but becoming far too desperate to care. “You once told me that you loved being with men more then you enjoyed being with women” He reminded him as well. “And now she expects you to just give that up”

“It’s called making a sacrifice Colin” Jared cried out as he jerked his frame from off of the bed, once again fiddling with his disarrayed clothing. “I may enjoy the company of men in my bed, but I only every loved one man. The fact is that believe it or not she makes me happy. It‘s not love, but I‘m happy Colin and that’s enough for me right now” Closing his eyes he stared at the floor for a moment as he pulled himself back together. “You wouldn’t understand, because you’ve never sacrificed anything for anyone in your life” He finally spoke, staring directly into Colin’s muddy brown eyes. “Not even me, the man that you claim to love”

“She sent the invitation” Colin blurted out, everything making sense to him all at once.

“She sent the invitation” Jared confirmed. “I never told her about us. Well…maybe not purposely, but she knew. She told me one night that she knew how much you meant to me and that she was ok with us being together one last time in order to say goodbye once and for all. I’ve done that and now its time to say goodbye. Goodbye Colin” The words expelled from his mouth heavily and full of sadness as with one final look at the man he would always love, he exited the room.

 

“She sent the invitation?” Eamon said in shock as he and Colin sat in the hotel restaurant later the next morning. “I don’t understand the thought process behind that”

“She knew that Jared still had a thing for men and allowed him one final fuck” Colin grunted as he nursed a cup of hot coffee, wishing like hell that it was a stiff whiskey instead.

“Or at least still had a thing for one man” Eamon surmised, knowing that he was correct by the look of sadness that flashed across his brothers eyes. “So it’s over. You’re just going to roll over and play dead now are you?”

What else can I do” Colin yelled, slamming his fist upon the table before him, lowering his voice at the looks of annoyance he received from the other patrons. “He made his decision. He wanted to fuck me over one last time and he did his bidding. It‘s over…it‘s been over for a long time now and I was too stupid to see it”

“Bullshit…he didn’t’ make any decision” Eamon challenged him, unable to believe how clueless his brother was. “You made the fucking decision for him once again Colin. He was there in your room. The two of you made love. He was practically begging for you to make the next move and you blew it…fucking moron that you are. You make him out to be like some fucking monster…but you and I both know that he isn‘t anything like that. He‘s a kind and sweet soul that has been in love with you from practically the first moment that he laid eyes on you. He‘s put up with your bullshit time and time again, making him not to bright, but not a monster by any means. If you ask me you‘re the fucking monster for not reading what is he is so clearly trying to tell you between the lines” Picking up the news paper he had been reading he swatted it across Colin’s head before sliding the chair back to prepare for his leave. “You really are the most pathetic excuse of a man that I have ever seen and Jared’s much better off without someone like you in his life” He knew that his words were harsh and sounded uncaring, but he also knew that it was the only way to light a fire under Colin’s ass, and stop him from making the biggest mistake of his life in letting Jared marry another.

Colin saw red as his brother walked out on him, but it only lasted a moment as the realization of his words hit him full on. Eamon was right; he was nothing but a monstrous bastard and had been from the first moment that he and Jared had gotten together. Being with Jared, although wonderful, was also very frightening and new to him and rather then try and be a man and work his way through his issues, he bolted like a coward. He knew that he had to do something, anything as he looked at his watch and realized that the wedding was to take place in less then twenty minutes.

“What took you so long” Eamon asked as he caught up with Colin after waiting for him outside of the restaurant, the two of them rushing towards only one destination.

 

“Fuck…” Colin cried out in frustration once they entered the lobby of the large church, after finding the room the groom was preparing himself behind.

“What?” Eamon asked as his eyes searched the area around them, knowing immediately the cause of Colin’s concern as his eyes landed on an upset looking Shannon Leto. “Don’t worry…he won’t be a problem” He assured as he patted his brother on the back before pushing him forward. “I’ll distract him and you get in that room and stop Jared from making the biggest mistake of his life” He instructed Colin, his heart racing as he prepared to do whatever possible to ensure that Colin was successful in his mission. “Shannon…how the fuck are you” He called out as he grabbed onto the shorter mans shoulder, ushering him aside as he attempted to distract him.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Shannon ignored the older Farrell as he jerked out of his grasp, stalking over towards Colin once he had.

“Pardon me?” Colin asked in confusing as he looked at his brother over Shannon’s shoulder, his confusion deepening at the shrug he received in reply.

“You had him in your room last night. You fucked him and had the perfect opportunity to end this charade, and yet once again you fucked it up” Shannon’s words got louder as he began to poke Colin in the chest, causing the man to back up against a wall from the shock and confusion of it all. “Don’t say a word” He cut Colin off with a flick of his hand before he had a chance to speak in his defense. “I don’t care what you have to do, but you get your ass in there and make him see what a fucking mistake he is making”

“I don’t understand” Colin uttered, his bewilderment growing ten fold.

“No doubt” Shannon ground out in reply. “Look…I don’t know what the hell my brother sees in you since all you’ve ever done is hurt him, but he loves you” He added a softness to his voice because no matter his issues with the actor, he knew that Colin was the only one that could make his brother truly happy once again. “This wedding is a sham and we all know it. He doesn’t love her but has somehow convinced himself that she can make him happy, but those of us who truly know Jared know that won’t happen. You’re the only one that can make him happy and even though it’s against my better judgment, I want you to go in there and save him from the clutches of this bitch”

“And what if I can’t” Colin was on the verge of tears from the pressure and the fear of being rejected by the one that he still loved.

“Then you don’t love my brother as much as I thought you did” He watched the tears evaporate from Colin’s eyes, a spark of anger and determination replacing it quickly. With a deep breath and a flare of the nostrils, he stepped aside as Colin brushed past him and entered the changing room.

“Do you think that he can get Jared to change his mind?” Shannon asked Colin’s brother as they each sat staring at the closed door.

“He’s Colin fucking Farrell…he can do anything that he sets his mind to” Eamon boasted, slapping Shannon on the shoulder. “Come on lets go have a fag before the fireworks began”

“Are you hitting on me you ass? Because this isn’t the time or the place” Shannon laughed, punching Eamon in the shoulder before racing out of the lobby and into the brightness of the morning.

 

Colin’s determination weaned the moment that he entered the room and found the man that he loved huddled on the floor in his tuxedo, lost in complete thought as a cigarette dangled between his fingers. He couldn’t believe how lost and scared he looked, still oblivious to the fact that he was no longer alone. “Jared…” He spoke carefully, not wanting to spook him as he slowly made his way over towards him. “Jared…” He said the name again when he received no response. “Hey…Jared” Reaching out he placed his hand upon Jared’s trembling shoulder, sitting cross legged on the floor before him as confused blue orbs locked upon his own. “Hey…” Was all he could think to say, his hand remaining upon Jared’s shoulder, wanting to pull the clearly emotional man into his arms, but fearful at the same time.

“Hey…” The word tumbled from his mouth automatically.

“You ok?” Colin asked, already knowing it was a stupid question by the look of the man falling apart before him.

“What are you doing here Colin?” Jared asked, taking a deep breath as he tried to clear his cluttered mind.

“I’m here to stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life” He replied truthfully, jumping up when Jared pushed his hand off of his shoulder before pulling himself up off of the floor.

“The biggest mistake of my life was going to your room last night” Jared replied snidely, anger behind the words, but not feeling them as much as they sounded.

“Mistake…maybe” Colin agreed, brushing the lingering insult away as he turned to face Jared. “But it was the best fucking mistake of my life, because it made me realize that I can’t live without anymore. I still love you Jared and I know that you still love me and…”

“And nothing” Jared cut him off, eyes flashing with real anger as he walked up on the taller man, standing before him with fists clenched at his sides. “I gave you another chance last night Colin and you fucked it up. It’s over for good and I stand behind everything that I told you last night. So just get the fuck out of here and leave me be. It was because of last night that you made me realize that marrying her is the best thing that could ever happen in my life. What I have with her may not compare to the love that I felt for you, but she knows and respects me and that is enough for me. She knows me in ways that you never could, in ways that you never will”

“Yes…we bloody well already know this now don’t we” Colin’s anger spiked another notch as he grasped onto the sides of Jared’s arms, forcing him to stand unmoving before him. “I can’t read you like you can read me. I don’t know what you are thinking or feeling all the time and yet you can just look at me and know everything there is to know” The words rushed from his mouth in desperation, but he was becoming desperate and he didn’t care. “I’m a fuck up. I always have been and I always will be, but I love you Jared. I love that you can read me like a fucking open book. I love that you know which way my emotions are going to fly before I do. I love every fucking thing about you and I always will. Just accept the fact that you mean the world to me and will want for nothing now that I have you back in my life. Anything that you want, anything that you need, just ask and it’s yours. We can do this…we can make this work…but you have to be willing to take that chance with me Jared”

“I can’t…” Jared pried the hands griping his arms off, placing badly needed distance between the two of them. “You’re not worth the risk any longer. I’m sorry Colin…” He watched as the man that he truly still loved heart broke right before his eyes. “I’m so sorry” He repeated at the empty spot that remained as Colin raced out of the room, leaving him alone with his hurt and his pain.

“Colin…what the fuck” Eamon cried out towards the retreating figure of his brother, knowing that nothing had been solved as he jumped into the car and sped off without even a seconds glance in his direction. “This can’t be good” He hollered over his shoulder as he raced back into the church, Shannon close on his heels.

“Jared…” Shannon called out as he entered the room, his heart stopping dead in his chest when he found it completely void of Jared and anything related to the wedding.

 

“Colin…” Eamon spoke into the mouthpiece of his phone as he and Shannon raced down the road towards the hotel. “Don’t panic…but is Jared with you by any chance?” He knew that his words did in deed cause a panic as a slew of profanities and then silence greeted him in reply. “Colin…” He cried into the phone. “COLIN…” His cries got louder when he still received no response because he knew that a silent Colin was dangerous and there was no telling what he might try or do.

“I need you and Shannon to get to the hotel as soon as you can” Relief flooded him once he heard his brother speak. “I know where he is…or at least where he’s going” And then the line went dead.

Colin had already placed several phone calls before Shannon and his brother entered his hotel room, his bag packed and waiting on the floor by the door. “You want to fill the two of us in on what’s going on in your mind Colin?” Eamon asked as he eyed the man pacing before him.

“He’s going to your Grandmothers old place” Colin ignored his brother as he stopped in front of Jared’s brother. “It’s the one place that he always goes when he is really upset about something. He once told me that it was the only place in the entire world that he could get his bearings after life became too much” A small smile slid across his lips as he recalled a time or two where he had tracked Jared down there after a falling out or full fledged battle between the two of them. “I’m sure that he’s already on his way…and I already have a private plane waiting for me at the airport. I’m running out of time here Shannon and…”

“Go…NOW” Shannon cut him off as he pulled a key ring out of his pocket, removing a single key before handing it to Colin. Make him whole again Farrell…because you are the only one that can” He whispered sadly, tears misting his eyes as he pulled his brothers lover into his arms. “Go on…go” He pointed towards the door with a small smile upon his face, hopeful that Colin would be successful at his task.

“Looks like you could use a fag” Eamon grinned evilly with an added wink as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of smokes.

“Are you hitting on me again you fucking idiot?” Shannon laughed through his tears at the same playful banter that the two of them had been playing at for years. “You know…” His evil grin joined that of Eamon’s as he grabbed the offered cigarette. “One of these days I am going to take you up on that offer”

“Brilliant…” Eamon chuckled as the two of them fell on the bed, enjoying their fags and hoping and praying that everything would work out between Colin and Jared in the end.

 

Colin was a nervous wreck as the private plane he had borrowed from his good friend Bram jetted down the runway. He was dying for a cigarette, but knew that he needed to remain nicotine free for the three hours that it took to get to Jared grandmothers place. Everything had been planned to perfection as he had waited for Eamon and Shannon to make it to the hotel before hand. He had a plan, one that he was determined to make fool proof as he proved to Jared once and for all that he belong to only him. The car he had hired from the plane was waiting for him as he raced through the tiny airport, ignoring the gasps and screams from those who recognized him as he did. He didn’t care that he was being rude, didn’t care that eventually every reporter in the hick town was going to be on the lookout for the scoop as to why actor Colin Farrell was visiting Bossier City, Louisiana. Giving the driver the directions, he finally was able to relax enough to inhale many bravery inducing cigarettes before reaching his destination. He knew that he had a few hours before Jared’s plane was to touch down, thanks to flirtatious banter and many autographs given to a star struck ticket agent once he had exited the plane. Chuckling he thanked his lucky stars above that Jared didn’t have a huge head when it came to traveling and often chose to fly couch with the rest of the normal people. Colin refused to fly anything but first class, but he had to admit that it was one of the many reasons that he loved Jared as much as he did, because no matter what Jared didn’t consider himself any better then the working man.

The hours seemed to drag by slowly as Colin moved about the house where Jared had spent most of his childhood. He recalled the light in the mans eyes each time that he told him a story of what it was like for he and Shannon to practically grow up in the tiny house with the grand parents who meant the world to them. He couldn’t help but smile at the many pictures that lined the walls of the home, each a testament of just how happy the two brothers truly were growing up. He couldn’t wait until the day that Jared and he had a home like that, one where pictures of their life together graced the walls for all that were privileged enough to see. He just hoped like hell that he could convince Jared how much he wanted it and how much he would go to any lengths to get what he wanted.

Glancing at his watch, he knew that the time was near as a bout of fear began to inhabit him. What if he had been wrong? What if Jared had decided to go somewhere else instead? Doubt rained upon him like a black cloud as he sat on the screened in porch, staring out into the darkening sky. He had almost allowed it to consume him, but the brightness of headlight brushed all ideas away as he watched a car slowly approach him. Nervously he walked to the edge of that stairs, his hands sweaty and clenching as he waited for the occupant of the car to exit it. He knew Jared could see him, knew that he was shocked and confused as to why Colin was there as he continued to hide behind the tinted interior, and he was fearful that he would bolt before he had a chance to explain. He was just about to take a step forward, when Jared stepped out of the car, racing across the walkway, up the stairs and into Colin’s shocked arms. He didn’t say a word as he continued to hold the shivering man, littering many kisses upon his beautiful head as held onto him as if for dear life. “You knew…how did you know?” He heard Jared question as he pulled back enough to look deeply into Colin’s eyes, but never breaking the contact that had been made with their bodies.

“Don’t you know?” Colin smiled down at the beautiful man within his arms. “I can read you like an open book” His grin grew even wider as he received a tearful grin off happiness in return before he leaned down and kissed the man that he planned to spend the rest of his life with.

The End…


End file.
